D’s Fri June 20 meals and struggling to staying motivated

After a week off, I’m back to posting my daily food journal. I’ve been a little discouraged lately with the way slow down in losing weight. Although I have struggled a little, noticing a few cravings coming back into play – I haven’t strayed from the plan so I’m proud of that. I try to encourage myself by trying on the clothes that fit now and also doing research on the up and down a pound or two of loosing weight eating low carb. Reading the health benefits of this type of diet motivates me as well. I want to keep moving forward, concentrating on eating healthy, whole foods. I do know this, losing weight is HARD. Once I get to my goal, I am going to never forget how hard it is or how long it took. I will be vigilant in making sure I do not gain weight again.

Most of my weight gain came over 5 years. Approximately 5 pounds per year. That does not sound like a lot when you break it up by year – just 5 pounds in one year. But times 5 and that’s a lot of weight gain for someone my height and bone size.

The weight gain did not come from laziness or even not exercising, it came from not paying attention to what and the amount of food I was eating and stress related to work. Being stressed makes me feel “entitled” to a cupcake or a treat of some sort. That became such a habit that is hard to break. Even now, when I do have a slight craving, it is because I want to reward myself for having to go through whatever was stressing me. I realize I have been doing this since college days. In art school, I first experienced extreme stress from trying to finish projects on deadline. Staying up most the night, there was always a student who would make the snack run – and the only thing available in the art building all night was vending machines. Full of candy bars, cupcakes and chips. So every few hours during the night, another cup of coffee with a candy bar or a bag of chips with a coke. Those treats were what got me through many a stressful project night.

And that pattern has followed me through my career which is basically doing projects often under extreme deadlines. Being stressed = treats to get through it.

And I have to admit now I do get a little down sometimes because I miss my treats. Not so much the cupcake itself anymore but that feeling of comfort that came with it. For some reason, after a treat, I always felt better about the project. I knew I’d get it done and that everything would be okay. This all doesn’t make much sense to me now but I do see that it is definitely a large part of my eating mentality. Food was never so much to keep me healthy but always a treat that I was either denying myself or letting myself have. Which kept and still keeps me completely preoccupied with what I am eating, what I’ve eaten or what I’m about to eat. Whew, it’s exhausting!

I remain thankful to this blog and P for beginning this journey with me. I’m really not sure I could have done it without her because it is hard some days for sure : )

Now on to the meals:

Breakfast: Scramble of two Applegate sausage links, egg and baby leaves, cherry tomatoes and Trader Joe’s Champagne Vinaigrette. (I’ve run out of my delicious homemade buttermilk ranch dressing so I need to make some more this weekend.) 6-28-breakfast

For lunch, my husband and I ate out with my stepson, his girlfriend and her mom. She became a U.S. citizen today and we had gone to the ceremony. It was very inspiring and something I have never seen before and think every U.S. citizen should watch. Sometimes with all the bad news and political warring, it’s nice to be in a room where every single person is proud to be an American. They wanted to have pizza for lunch so I went along. I had a Caesar salad (no croutons) and a piece of cheesesteak pizza which my stepson wanted to order because it was one he had before and said it was the best. I ate about four bites of the pizza with crust and then scraped the rest of the meat and cheese off. There was a lot of meat so it tasted pretty good – just meat and cheese.

Dinner – large green salad with sauteed shrimp 6-28-dinner

Snacks today – handful of peanuts and this evening while watching TV – 1/2 cup coffee with 1/2 cup whole milk, cocoa stirred in (straight chocolate, no sugar added)

Exercise today – 3 mile walk


Comments

D’s Fri June 20 meals and struggling to staying motivated — 2 Comments

  1. Great post D! As I’ve written this week, I’ve found myself straying into bad habits… mostly with the working too late, not paying attention to what I eat and not exercising (oops – that’s all the bad habits!). I’ve even gone back to bed several mornings instead of staying up when I get up! All of this has made me disappointed in myself and a little sad. Especially since we recently had such a fun and upbeat weekend with the family enjoying our thus-far success!

    I am not sure why we are programmed to revert back to unhealthy ways, despite all the significant physical and mental (i.e. more confidence) benefits that have come with what we’ve been doing the last three (3) months.

    You and I are similar in that we’ve used snacks as a way to “keep up the energy” to the get things done and as a reward system most of our lives. For me too, starting back in college with engineering projects and assignments – all-nighters were the norm with the “feedings” like you describe. And, no matter how rewarding our careers are now, they still involve the occasional very late (or even all) nighters, lots of pressure to perform for our clients and using food to help us through it, plus to celebrate reaching the “finish line” because we “deserve” it.

    This is so very deeply ingrained in our psyche that we are finding it extremely difficult to change.

    But, we can’t be too hard on ourselves – or even too disappointed. We are trying to change a course we have been on for over 35 years!

    Also, having that occasional “treat” is part of what this is all about – I need to keep reminding myself that I am making these changes to my life for the long-run and having the occasional treat, for no other reason than they taste good, will be part of that life. And I know that the simple key to this is to eat healthy the majority of the time, keep up the exercise and the other good habits, and then those occasional treats (eaten with complete awareness and control) will have no detrimental effect whatsoever!

    I too am so glad we are sharing this ride to a healthier life – I’ve never been able to stay on course for so long in the past!!!

    Here’s to a good, positive week moving forward!

  2. Great post, girls! I think there are many family members who can relate to your words. I see it and feel it in my own immediate family. We are programmed to “reward” ourselves with food…and it is hard not to do that! I thank you both for your words of wisdom and this blog. I think it has brought us all closer together. Love you both and praying for your continued success!

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