We’ve all heard that history repeats itself – sometimes used in a foreboding connotation.
But, for me, I want history to repeat itself – at least the history of March to September 2013 – when I had strong resolve to change my life by changing my eating habits. I cannot explain why I have all but abandoned this plan since the Wedding. I thought I had established new habits. Perhaps it’s like an alcoholic, smoker, or gambler who successfully “kicks” the habit for several months, and then believes they can “have just one drink” or an occasional smoke or a game of poker without falling back into a destructive mind set. They stop focusing on controlling their actions, and, instead, they mindlessly slide backwards.
In my case, I was wearing my new size 6 suits, and I started giving myself permission to eat a few carbo laden items a day, thinking that, at the very worst, I would maintain and not gain.
What???? Why would that happen when, before this Plan, that way of eating is what caused the Old P to gain all this weight in the first place?
Was I thinking that I would not gain weight with the Old P’s way of eating just because I was 24 pounds lighter? Or, was I just being lazy?
This last few months our business has really taken off, and the positive energy around the office is terrific. I realize that I was using this extra-busy-business to re-form really bad internal conversations with myself, specifically the “I’m too busy to grab a healthy snack, I’ll just eat this small bag (or two) of chips since it’s handy” and “I’ll start back on plan tomorrow (or this weekend…) once things settle down”
I haven’t wanted to ask myself: “Why tomorrow and not today?”
You’ve seen over the last few months how my posts are sporadic and I keep “starting” over, and recommitting.
Why wasn’t it working? Again – not sure “why“, so I decided to work on the “how” I was able to make it work for so many months leading up to the Wedding.
After an extremely busy week – working to 11 or 12 each night, followed by early meetings, depositions, or hearings each morning, on Friday (after again not being able to wear at least half of the 10 Suits since I’ve gained back 10+ pounds), I decided to dedicate time Saturday to review my early successes on this plan, shop, and cook in an effort to, once again, change my state of mind.
So, I did. I got up when I woke up and made coffee. It was chilly out, so I took my coffee and laptop back to bed and sat there, drinking my creamy hot coffee, and reading this blog to see what I was saying and feeling for those months between March and September. I read some of the posts to my husband. I also reviewed many of the meals and recipes. We’ve got great and motivating stuff on this Blog!
By taking time to review these old posts, I relived my feelings of excitement, contentment, and yes, actual pride, that I felt back then when I continued to lose and experiment with new foods and recipes.
I could not believe that I had actually forgotten about some of the great recipes and food-combinations we had come up with.
While reading this Blog, I made out a shopping list so that I could stock up and also cook up some of the recipes. I want to repeat the activities of the past so that, like before, I can be ready this week with healthy choices instead of letting the Old P’s way of eating continue to sabotage my quest. And, yesterday, as you’ll see when I post my meals, I did shop and I did cook, and I had a lot of fun doing it.
So, in this case, repeating history is a terrific thing to do!